There is a dark jungle next to a village. People who went into that jungle didn't come out. One day, a few people with torches went in. They were told not to, but they did it anyway. Only a few returned, dying, hurt, betrayed, broken, wounded, and more than a few dead. All of them with bleeding claw marks. Before the remaining ones died, this is what they say:
"Within the Jungle is a Tiger. It is tall, thin, and is the most frightening thing you will know. Its many claws are made of obsidian, and it has the most horrible eyes. But...it is just a Tiger, and it bleeds."
The villagers still fear the Jungle. They still fear the Tiger and take precautions...but they know it is just a Tiger. A creature of Shadows but NOT Unknown. Perhaps one day the Tiger will be slain...it is unlikely. However, there is no need for pointless, soul withering, fear.
It is a monster, but the monster bleeds.
I...
ReplyDeleteRobert, if you're still alive, there's something I want to ask you.
My, oh my. You simply will not die. You insist upon these constant returns, my dearest sage, to the point where one can't help but wonder if you aren't just a washed-up writer, making it all up while grasping for a piece of the spotlight that others have truly earned. But certainly this could never be the case.
ReplyDeleteThe world does not need you, Robert. It's moved far beyond you could have ever imagined. Go back to sleep in death's cold, loving darkness. Let the rest of us work.
Damien?
DeleteFucking christ. Dead people are coming back.
ReplyDeleteTime to grab the guns, folks. The zombie apocalypse is starting!
Oh, my
ReplyDeleteNormally, from my understanding, dead people usually stay dead.
Unless you're a roach. Those buggers never die 'till you hit them juuuuust right~
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ReplyDeleteBen you good or...?
DeleteWell well well well! Lookie what we have here, a wannabe hero and his empty blog. Where were you when shit went downhill, Sagel? And now you come back trumpeting your own horn which is shoved up your ass where the sun don't shine?
ReplyDeleteHave fun with your fucking theories and stupidity. you'll always be the guy singing alone in his hotel room to me. We don't NEED you anymore.
Just. Go. Die.
Jesus you people are assholes if the man wants to write let him write before I stick my foot so far up your ass you'll be able to taste that shit how about that Ricky retardo??
DeleteAhahahahaha no. Denied. Thanks for playing, better luck next time.
ReplyDeleteI, uh...
ReplyDeleteOh my. How does he...keep coming back?...
They can do that? I thought it was against the rules.
ReplyDeleteHow sad is it that, from all of you, Ben has the best reply so far?
ReplyDeleteOh, Robbie, Robbie, Robbie... those maggots jerking your corpse across the keyboard again? They have excellent grammar, I must say.
Zombie Apocalypse isn't until December 21st, 2012, Robert. Until then, let's move on, shall we?
Ah the famous Robert Sagel. Famous for never understanding his time is over.
ReplyDeleteI notice the invisible text Robert. Do you fancy yourself a Sage again? People stopped romanticizing others with those titles a long time ago.
You plunged yourself into death and freefall. Could you finally hit the ground and lie still?
That which bleeds can die.
ReplyDeleteIf this is indeed Robert Sagel and not some automated post left by a long dead blogger then on behalf of the department I extend an invitation to join us here in Slender Falls. We'd like to compare notes and, if you're interested, point out where you went wrong.
Robbie, it's okay. We have ways of helping people like you.
ReplyDeleteSilver bullet through the head, followed by removal of the heart, break the neck, stuff the head with garlic, place a crucifix to the body, douse with holy water, then we'll bury you in the Empty City with a priest (preferably an not-undead one) performing an exorcism. For added protection your body will be placed in a steel coffin, bolted shut and and then tied with chains. And placed roughly twenty feet down, vertically, with the head downward and pine branches (I think that's right) below. Then the Boss comes, cuts off all His energy for a mile radius around the area, ensuring that there will be no Slender-shenanigans to mess with the corpse, and we set up with the Seraphim to keep the other Fears away as well, especially the Archangel and the Dying Man.
What say?
I say shut your fuckin mouth you proper gentleman wannabe
DeleteThis is
ReplyDeleteinteresting
Talk of
Monsters.
Monsters
make me
shiver.
So much negativity... and they call ME the judgmental prick? Astounding.
ReplyDeleteIt seems the story is changing... Interesting. What else has changed, I wonder?
Excuse me while I roll my eyes and not give two fucks about a (dead) man and his decision to pursue his mental dream.
ReplyDelete.....And who the fuck are you?
ReplyDeleteI think I'm gonna call shenanigans on this one, guys. This isn't Robert Sagel. Just some sad fuck jerking us all around. And for once I am being
ReplyDeletecompletely
fucking
SERIOUS.
Oh look, it's zombie Robert again.
ReplyDeleteDammit, why did Morningstar 1.0 have to go and die. We were going to go Zombie Robert hunting last time this happened.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry Omega, Star left me all his zombie hunting supplies. We should get a group together before it turns into an epidemic
ReplyDeleteOoh, can I come? I promise to stop killing people (who aren't zombies, who aren't people anyway) until we're done!
ReplyDeleteZombies?
ReplyDeleteOoh, maybe
Salome and I
could...
Never mind,
we would never
get clearance...
"but the monster bleeds."
ReplyDeleteGiven the amount of bullets, sharp objects, tonnage of explosives, and various other killing implements (both magical and mundane) I've directed at it without any visible effect, forgive me if I find myself doubting that statement.
Also I'm totally down for any zombie hunting.
Only the fool doesn't know when to give up.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, you are the fool. Quite possibly a zombie fool.
I dunno you guys, but I already have enough with Slendy. I'm not about to deal with an effing zombie apocalypse...
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you need to remember is the fact that my foot is going to lodge so far up your ass if you come near my family and I again, that you will fly to fucking Mars and NASA will be able to see you in the goddamn stars.
ReplyDelete...... Seriously! Who the fuck are you!?!?
ReplyDeleteWhoever it is appears to have purged the blog.. again.
ReplyDeleteAh, the famous and infamous Robert Sagel. Another return to the living? Or have you been keeping your secrets from us again?
ReplyDeleteHey Robert, if you're restarting the Core Theory could you throw in some of these: http://atragicallywonderfulparadox.blogspot.com/2011/11/prophecies-of-madman.html. Heh, I even threw in the role of zombie, just for you (I mean, come on, how many times have you died anyways?).
ReplyDeleteSee you around
-Cage
The WHOLE BLOG has been deleted? Really? Aye.. aye. Must be awkward over at your end. Maybe Robert here is the real tiger.
ReplyDelete[of course, my Tiger and his tiger are completely different; though they both do seem quite fit, and have a liking for suits]
I'm trying to figure out if ol Robert is more of a Smoker or a Boomer. I'm leaning towards a Boomer, but they don't have the range or grappling skills of the Smoker...
ReplyDeleteYou should all remember
ReplyDeleteIn the land of the mortal
The Undying man is King.
These are strange eons indeed.
Seriously? Zombie jokes. Nothing but *fucking* zombie jokes. I had a lot more faith in you than that, internet. But nope, you went right for the obvious and easy humor. You make me *sick*.
ReplyDeleteI bet if he could see you in real life as a sad fuckin creep jerking of to little kids you would make him *sick* too.
DeleteM said you were dead and crazy.But how can you make posts if you are dead/?
ReplyDeleteIt's best not to ponder it too hard. You can attest that our mutual Tallish Friend has a tendency towards the impossible.
DeleteSane and reasonable assumptions begin to escape you the longer you hang around people like us, but you'll get used to it.
Oh wait. That's not such a good thing, is it...
undead people, who generate this much contempt from the blogosphere only segal, to bad the previous champion has lived long enough to see himself become the villan it appears.
ReplyDeleteLearn to stay dead, sage.
ReplyDeleteThings clearly are not(can not) be as simple as they seem.
ReplyDeleteI guess they never were.
Or ever will be...
Never stays down for long, does he? Admirable and pitiable all at the same time.
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for word from Redlight, GOD OF MACHINES again. :P
MAN have I been out for a long time. Welp, he's not a GOD OF MACHINES (shame, really), and his signoff's different, but from the sound of it, the light's turned red once again.
DeleteRobert, not you, you-you were like our Rorshach! Oh, and Red Light, bite me man.
ReplyDeleteHe's not alive. He's dead. The Show's over.
ReplyDeleteAnd when dealing with the dead, always remember: "It's a trick, Get an axe."
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteits okay Redlights dead forever and alltimes by me now dont worery of it or him worry of Slenderthulu and Megamegacosmicrake
ReplyDeleteIts confirmed.
ReplyDeleteRobert's immortal.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe Tiger does not bleed. It turns the world red.
ReplyDeleteHello. I... need help. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a mite out of my depth here, and I am now aware of some force other than the //construct// referred to by the apparently deceased Robert((Sage)) I have come to admire.
ReplyDeleteIt worries me, and I would rather not be worried alone.
Is there anyone else left?
Like a fucking charnel house...
ReplyDeletesomeone send him a nice comment of how he's doing great instead of fanfiction weirdos commenting thinking there negative comments really matter to him stop being assholes you ignorant egotistical ERBSENZĂ„HLERS.
ReplyDeleteThere is a dark jungle next to a village. People who went into that jungle didn't come out. One day, a few people with torches went in. They were told not to, but they did it anyway. Only a few returned, dying, hurt, betrayed, broken, wounded, and more than a few dead. All of them with bleeding claw marks. Before the remaining ones died, this is what they say:
ReplyDelete"Within the Jungle is a Tiger. It is tall, thin, and is the most frightening thing you will know. Its many claws are made of obsidian, and it has the most horrible eyes. But...it is just a Tiger, and it bleeds."
The villagers still fear the Jungle. They still fear the Tiger and take precautions...but they know it is just a Tiger. A creature of Shadows but NOT Unknown. Perhaps one day the Tiger will be slain...it is unlikely. However, there is no need for pointless, soul withering, fear.
It is a monster, but the monster bleeds.